Hey Jealousy

No message. Just lyrics:

Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms

Tell me do you think it'd be all right
If I could just crash here tonight?
You can see I'm in no shape for driving
And anyway I've got no place to go

And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I'd ever had
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might not be alone

Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place...
hey jealousy

And you can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
If you don't expect too much from me
You might not be let down

Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you

Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place...
hey jealousy

She took my heart
There's only one thing I couldn't start

Dream or Nightmare

So if you know me, you probably know that sleep is a bit of a challenge for me. I have to have my sleeping place arranged in a precise order, and it's becoming much more of a chore to get to sleep in recent years. And one of the things that makes sleep hard is dreams...knowing that you will lose conciousness and could potentially enter a terrifying dream world. And since I rarely have "good dreams" - the positive side of dreaming is rarely relevant. But I had a good dream last night, and I brings up the following question:

If you have a good dream that you know will never come true, is that the same as a nightmare?

Journal of a Sick Man

So I'm sick. I've been battling something for the entire Fall/Winter since the weather can't pick something and stick with it, and it's come to a head this week(end). Right now, I have what I'll only describe as a (fairly) productive cough, and since my lungs are covered in some kind of sticky goo...it's completely affected my ability to be active in any way.

It probably didn't help that, even though I felt sick since last week, I spent most of the week going to Stars' games, playing tennis, and going to bed after 11pm. So I'm remedying that with a lot of rest and television watching this weekend. I also spent like $60 on medicine.

Anyway, one of the "perks" of being sick is that I've been able to catch up on all of the shows I've missed over the course of the week, and I was able to watch three movies yesterday. And since today is Oscar day, I'll give you a brief review of the movies. I was hoping to see "The Wrestler" yesterday, but that would've involved me getting up and putting on big people clothes.

Now the three movies are, in order that I watched them, "3:10 to Yuma" , "Balls of Fury" , and "RoboCop"

Remember that I didn't want to get up and go outside. So my choices were all derived from free movies that I already had on DVD/Blu-Ray ("3:10 to Yuma"), free movies On Demand (because I wasn't going to pay $4 to watch something I was only mildly interested in...and that's where "Balls of Fury" came in), or on Hulu ("RoboCop").

3:10 to Yuma

I thought the acting in this movie was great, but I would've loved this movie if it'd bothered with a plot. Ashley and I watched this movie (we started Monday and finished yesterday), and we could only summarize this movie as "Russell Crowe gets on a train and a lot of people die in the process." I've never been huge on Westerns, but I've actually watched a lot of the best ones made. I can certainly say that it was a well-done movie, but I can't say that I enjoyed it. But Crowe and Christian Bale rock, and they did a fantastic job.

Balls of Fury

You're going to have to believe me, but this was my best option On Demand. I checked, and there was absolutely nothing. And while I didn't really want to see it, I knew that I was going to see it eventually (because it's been On Demand for a couple of months, and it's always been my "maybe" movie). And I thought it would at least be entertaining.

And it wasn't. "Balls of Fury" is one of the dumbest movies that I've ever seen and not in a good way. It was one of those movies that I started, quickly realized my mistake, but decided to fight through anyway. I should've known it was going to be bad, since it starred a guy I'd never heard of (so even Rob Schneider passed on it), and "the guy from Mortal Kombat" was one of the three people I did recognize.

"Balls of Fury" attempted to do to ping pong what "Dodgeball" did for dodgeball. And I guess it did make me want to play ping pong, but that might've just sounded really fun instead of watching the movie.

RoboCop

And this was another example of "this was the best that was offered." Considering I paid nothing to watch either "Balls of Fury" or "RoboCop" I can't really complain. But, for this one, it came down to either this movie or "Karate Kid" - another cult classic from the 80s that I'd never seen. I flipped a coin, and it landed on "RoboCop"

Incidentally, Hulu has all three RoboCop movies for free.

And it was basically what I expected it to be. It was a crazy, uber-violent, 80s movie that entertained me. I came in with pretty low expectations, and I was satisfied with what I got. There was cheesy dialogue, bad 80s special effects, and cliched characters, but it was a movie I found myself enjoying.

I also have always found it odd that Dallas was chosen for the filming location. As far as I know, it's the biggest film to ever be shot in Dallas...according to wikipedia, it was chosen for its "futuristic buildings" - and I guess I see it in some kind of retro 80s way. But it was kind of cool to recognize buildings in some of the scenes, and it was cool that futuristic Detroit is just 80s Dallas. So you can imagine how cool Dallas will be in the future.

I was disappointed to read that RoboCop 2 was filmed in Houston. Seriously?

Summary

All in all, I can't give a great review to any of these movies. They did a great job of wasting my sick-time, but I would've preferred to be outside doing something else. But as a guy who'd like to see as many movies as possible, I can at least knock a couple more off the list.

It Finally Clicked

I've been meaning to do a blog on tennis for a while since it has become the most significant thing in my life. This blog will be about tennis, but it will not be my tennis blog. Just for your information.

I'd also like to preface the blog by saying that I am bad at taking instruction. I am, for the most part, a stubborn person, and I believe that my way is the best way. I don't care if you're a master of a craft and I've just started. If I've set my mind on doing it one way, it doesn't matter how wrong it is. I will keep doing it until you either give up and agree with me or give up and...well, give up.

So Tucker and I are taking a tennis class, and I've been a bit frustrated. First of all, Tucker was already better than me at tennis. Second, like I said, I'm no good at taking instruction. Third, Tucker is very good at taking instruction.

End result: Tucker is now very better than me. Incorrect grammar intended.

And what really frustrated me happened on Saturday. I've been playing with Tucker almost every weekend (in fact, maybe every weekend) for the last couple of months, and I thought I'd closed the gap. Not enough to beat him or anything (although I did once or twice) but enough to make things interesting.

And on Saturday, I show up and I'm immediately mentally challenged. Not only can I not serve or backhand (the focus of the lesson), but I can't forehand either (my apparent strength). If you watch 30 Rock, I was Kenneth when Liz asked him if he could "walk and talk." He knew he'd done it before, but when he was put on the spot, he was super-awkward.

It mostly dealt with my serve. I was putting my arm off to the side instead of bringing it straight back. And putting my arm back is the foundation for a serve. If I didn't do that part, there was no reason to keep trying because I'd never be able to serve correctly.

And the teacher, literally, tells me to look at Tucker and try to mimic him. Not only had I not closed the gap on Tucker, he was now light years ahead of me.

And so Tucker and I continued to play for four more hours (give or take) and I kept trying to serve. I took Sunday off and tried to serve for another two hours on Monday (with Ashley and then with Ashley and Tucker). I was getting better, but I was constantly fighting my old muscle memory.

Then came tonight's class. I was nervous because I'd be facing our teacher for the first time. I could either show him that I'd put six hours of extra work in three days, or he'd be frustrated that I didn't learn a damn thing.

And after he continued to break down my forehand and later insult my volley, the time came. I'd served by myself a couple of minutes earlier, and I was facing the same problems. My serve was extremely awkward, and I wasn't even getting the awkward serves in.

When I got to the station where he'd critique our serves, I did the motion that I'd been learning. And, almost immediately, I noticed he was impressed. I'd actually learned something that he'd taught me. There was still something wrong with my serve, however, but I'd at least started with the foundation.

But then he did it. He told me to pull my arm/racket back a little bit and then move it back. It seemed simple enough, but it worked. Perfectly.

I'm serious. It was like magic, and everything suddenly clicked. My motion instantly became smooth, and I was able to serve. I still have an extremely weak serve, but I think I have the motion down. My fear, of course, is that I'll wake up tomorrow, and all of my progress will be gone. With LOST tomorrow and hockey the following night, I don't have a lot of time for practice.

In fact, I've already taken one break to just do the motion. Try to commit it to "muscle memory" before I go to bed...in a sense, cramming for a big test. And hopefully, by Saturday or Sunday, I can go out there and try to keep up the correct motion. If I do that, I can try to get some power behind it. If I can do that, I might be able to add some spin to my serves.

I'm getting a little ahead of myself....but if I can do all of that, I might be able to begin closing the gap on Tucker. Unless, like I think will happen, he will eventually go pro and leave me in the dust.

But Tucker's cool...I think when he gets the #1 ranking, he'll convince the Professional Tennis people to let me play on tour. Or at least help me to date the cutest (legal) female tennis player.

What'd I Miss?

I'm sorry, I must've been asleep when all of this happened. I read the newspaper, checked ESPN.com, watched ESPN and ESPN2 and ESPNews and Fox Sports, looked at all of the other TV news stations, checked the Internet, listened to the radio, and talked to a bunch of people.

Did something happen to A-Rod? It must not be very important because the story doesn't seem to be anywhere. I hope he's okay.

10-2

Rangers Goals By:

Nikolai Zherdev (2)

Stars Goals By:

Brian Sutherby
Mike Ribeiro (2)
Brad Richards
Jere Lehtinen
Fabian Brunnstrom
Steve Ott
Darryl Sydor
James Neal (2)

Final Score:

Dallas Stars 10
New York Rangers 2

One of the most fun games I've ever seen in person.

Lou's Story

I have a friend, named Lou, who works at a big financial company. Lou doesn't really like his job, but it pays pretty well and it fills his time. Lou is a pretty smart guy, and he occasionally believes that the people around him (especially his superiors) are...well...not so much. He isn't overconfident or cocky...he just doesn't think much of the people ahead of him on the corporate ladder.

Lou's entire department is getting phased out of the US...moving to India. Lou's job is safe, but his role will significantly change once the phase-out is complete. It was supposed to take place in January, but it still hasn't happened.

Today, Lou gets a call from the computer department, and the person on the other line asks him if he's prepared to move cubicles. Lou doesn't have any idea what the man is talking about, but he arranges to move cubicles and doesn't worry about it. The same man calls one of Lou's colleagues and tells her the same thing. The colleague, who also knew nothing of the move, speaks up.

The managers look at each other and say nothing. They talk amongst themselves, saying it "wasn't time yet" and that "it should've been cancelled." They say nothing to Lou or the colleague. Later, Lou and his colleagues discuss the fact that the shift is coming...each colleague seems to know something different.

My question is...why does Lou's computer department know about Lou's move before Lou does? Why aren't Lou's managers telling Lou anything...especially when it directly relates to his job? There was no meeting planned...no talks planned...and, again, no direct discussion with Lou whatsoever.

Lou knew that it was coming, and he knew things would change. But Lou also anticpated that he'd know something before the IT department did. Is Lou crazy?

One Year Later

It has been one year. And while it feels like a year, it also feels like a whole lot less than that. I'm not going to get into it, probably because I still don't have the words to explain it. I'm just going to post some appropriate song lyrics and accentuate them when I believe accenting is necessary...and leave it at that.

There are probably better songs, but these three have played a big impact in the last 365 days. Including one of the biggest instances of musical providence I have ever experienced. Other songs under consideration were Good Charlotte's "Dance Floor Remix" , All American Rejects' "Gives You Hell" , Lifehouse's "Broken" , Kelly Clarkson's "Sober" , "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne, and "I Don't Love You" (and a handful of other songs) by My Chemical Romance.



James Blunt - "Same Mistake"



So while I'm turning in my sheets

And once again I cannot sleep

Walk out the door and up the street

Look at the stars beneath my feet

Remember rights that I did wrong

So here I go


Hello, hello
There is no place I cannot go

My mind is muddy but

My heart is heavy does it show

I lose the track that loses me

So here I go


And so I sent some men to fight

And one came back at dead of night

Said he'd seen my enemy

Said he looked just like me

So I set out to cut myself

And here I go

I'm not calling for a second chance

I'm screaming at the top of my voice

Give me reason, but don't give me choice

Cause I'll just make the same mistake again

And maybe someday we will meet

And maybe talk but not just speak

Dont buy the promises cause

There are no promises I keep

And my reflection troubles me

So here I go

I'm not calling for a second chance

I'm screaming at the top of my voice

Give me reason, but don't give me choice

Cause I'll just make the same mistake again


So while I'm turning in my sheets

And once again I cannot sleep

Walk out the door and up the street

Look at the stars

Look at the stars falling down

And I wonder where

Did I go wrong?



Daughtry - "Over You"



Now that it's all said and done,

I can't believe you were the one

To build me up and tear me down,

Like an old abandoned house.



What you said when you left

Just left me cold and out of breath.

I fell too far,

was in way too deep.

Guess I let you get the best of me.



Well, I never saw it coming.

I should've started running

A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,

I'm better off without you

More than you, more than you know.



I'm slowly getting closure.

I guess it's really over.

I'm finally getting better.

And now I'm picking up the pieces.

I'm spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together



.'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,

I got over you.



You took a hammer to these walls,

Dragged the memories down the hall,

Packed your bags and walked away.

There was nothing I could say.



And when you slammed the front door shut,

A lot of others opened up,

So did my eyes so I could see

That you never were the best for me.



Well, I never saw it coming.

I should've started running

A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,

I'm better off without you

More than you, more than you know.



I'm slowly getting closure.

I guess it's really over.

I'm finally getting better.

And now I'm picking up the pieces.

I'm spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together.

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,

I got over you.



Well, I never saw it coming.

I should've started running

A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,

I'm better off without you

More than you, more than you know.



I'm slowly getting closure.

I guess it's really over.

I'm finally getting better.

And now I'm picking up the pieces.

I'm spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together.



Well I'm putting my heart back together,

'Cause I got over you.

Well I got over you.

I got over you.'

Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,

I got over you.



The Fray - "You Found Me"



I found God

On the corner of first and Amistad

Where the west was all but won

All alone, smoking his last cigarette

I Said where you been, he said ask anything



Where were you?

When everything was falling apart

All my days were spent by the telephone

It never rang

And all I needed was a call

That never came

To the corner of first and Amistad



Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lying on the floor

Surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?

Where were you? Where were you?

Just a little late

You found me, you found me



In the end everyone ends up alone

Losing her, the only one whos ever known

Who I am, who I'm not, and who I want to be

No way to know how long she will be next to me



Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lying on the floor

Surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?

Where were you, where were you?

Just a little late

You found me, you found me



Early morning,

City breaks

Ive been calling

for years and years and years and years

And you never left me no messages

You never send me no letters

You got some kind of nerve,

taking all I want



Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lying on the floor

Where were you, where were you?

Lost and insecure

You found me, you found me

Lying on the floor

Surrounded, surrounded

Why'd you have to wait?

Where were you, where were you?

Just a little late

You found me, you found me

why'd you have to wait

to find me, to find me?



Three is insulting.

Something Positive

On the eve of tomorrow, things that make me smile - in no particular order:

1. Jamba Juice - I want to get one every morning. For the most part, I do not.

2. Stars' Hockey - Playing much better since Avery left. For some reason, this team is really good with this "addition by subtraction" thing (last year with Armstrong, this year with Avery).

3. Tennis - My new obsession. I think I'm getting better, and I guess we'll see how I'm doing when I start a new session of classes tomorrow night.

4. Hope - In Australia, something new, and something amazing.

5. My fake baseball league - Even (and sometimes especially) when I hate it.