Looking Back

Tonight was TCU's first home game, and I went, of course. Even though I'm approaching the four-year anniversary of my graduation, we've always sat in the student section. It's more fun to be there because the students, obviously, are more into the game than the alumni section.

And it's great - I love it. One thing has bothered me every time I've gone, and I imagine it always will. And that's the girls in the crowd. I'm not really bending the truth when I say that the great majority of girls at TCU, especially those at the football games, are cute. Really cute. And while I'm starting to feel like an old man, that's not really the way I'm taking this blog.

It make me wonder what the heck I was doing for four years.

Because I don't really have to ask myself whether or not the girls were this cute back in the day. They were - I know this. Hundreds of girls who I'd love to date, and there were probably even a few that would've been okay dating me.

Did I take advantage of this overstock of incredibly cute girls? Take advantage of the generous male-to-female ratio that I was a part of?

No. Not at all.

And, looking back, I have to ask myself what I was doing. I realize I'm not exactly a Romeo in these matters, but it seems like I didn't really make an effort. And at the end of the day, romance-wise, I think I wasted an enormous opportunity.

Because from the first time we step into kindergarten class, we're constantly meeting people. You meet new classmates in elementary school...eventually knowing almost everyone in your grade. When we got to middle school, there were all the kids from the other elementary schools that you could meet in all your new classes. With eight classes a day, you were certain to meet a dozen or so new people every year. At least.

And then, in high school and college, you're meeting people from other grades. Freshman meeting sophomores, seniors meeting juniors, and so on. We meet several hundred people in a matter of 12 years, and there's not a whole lot of work that goes into it. You meet them all in the first day of school, and over the course of the year, they're all lab partners or study partners or at least the girl that sits behind you in algebra class.

But then you get out of work....and it all seems to stop. Once you meet your coworkers in the first couple of weeks of work, that's about it. Unless your job has huge turnover, there might just be a dozen new workers every year.

And by the time you're out of college, you've made most of your important friends. You already know all of their friends and siblings, so you're not really meeting anyone new.

It seems like, unlike in school, if you want to meet anyone, you have to go out of your way. You're meeting friends of friends of friends, or you're going up to someone new in a bar or a restaurant. Something that used to be so simple and ample has become something difficult and rare.

Back in school, if you wanted to meet that cute girl you saw in the cafeteria, there was a good chance that you'd have a class with her. And, if not, the school was probably small enough where you were connected to her in less than six degrees of separation.

Now, you have to do most of the legwork yourself. Yes, that usually just means going up and talking to her, but it didn't even need to be that hard in school. Like I said, most of the meeting in school was forced.

So...it all makes me wish that there was some way to go back with the information I have now. To take my 25-year-old brain and put it inside of my 18-year-old body. Because I know, for a fact, that I missed opportunities along the way in college, and I'm pretty sure I could've done better if I knew then what I know now.

Of course, as I sit here thinking about 18 at 25...I can't help but think that some of them were wasted. And then I start thinking about my life now. Will 32-year-old Drew be pissed off that 25-year-old Drew worried so much about 18-year-old Drew? Is this just an F-ed up cycle that we're all doomed to relive over and over again?

And so I'm going to do my best to avoid that. Live in the now. Enjoy what's ahead of my instead of worrying so much about what was behind me. Whether or not I missed the boat in college is irrelevant at this point. Whether or not I get on the boat now is fully under my control.

Hopefully that's what I remember most about these times.