Sucker Punch

I went and saw Sucker Punch tonight. It's a pure action film that takes place almost-entirely inside a CGI fantasy world. For some reason, these movies seem "fun" to me. The difference between these movies and movies like Avatar or the Star Wars prequels is that Sucker Punch isn't trying to trick you. It wants you to know that it's CGI, and it doesn't care. Avatar wants you to think that James Cameron went out into space and filmed something.

So I saw the trailer and wanted to see the movie. It looked like it was Kill Bill meets something like Alice in Wonderland meets something like Shutter Island. All inside the world of 300.

I didn't know if I'd like it or not, but I really didn't care. And now that I've seen it, I still don't know if I liked it or not.

There was action, for sure. The main character goes into a fantasy world as a way to "mesmerize" people as part of their escape plan, and the scenes are cool. Hand-to-hand combat, gunfights, aerial battles, and swordplay dominate over several different backdrops. World War II, deep space, and medieval battles all exist in the film, all with strange "modern" twists. It was also cool that the protagonist uses both a samurai sword and guns...something you don't see too often.

And the women are all hot. The main character spends most of the movie (especially the fantasy scenes) in a little skirt, a half-top, and high heels. She's an action star for females, and a sex fantasy for males. And the non-fantasy scenes take place in a sort of burlesque, meaning that she (and the other girls) are constantly dressed as dancers.

It's hot. They all look great, and while there's no sex in the movie...it's constantly being teased. So when it's all said and done, it had the two things that I was expecting...good-looking girls and CGI action.

But if I have a problem with the movie, it's that it tried to be more than that. I'ts not getting good reviews, and I think it's because the movie didn't really know what it wanted to be. Was it purely action? Was it a drama? Was it trying to teach you a lesson? Was it some kind of modern re-telling of a lesson we should all be learning?

It seems like all of that was in the movie, but the best scenes were the ones that just focused on the action. Everything else either dragged on or confused.

If you want a fun action movie, it does the trick, for the most part. You're going to have to wade through some other stuff, though.

Someone Parked In My Spot

Someone parked in my spot tonight.

Actually, someone parked in Ashley's spot tonight. Ashley lets me use his spot because our next door neighbor had a wife and two spots. Now he has two spots...and he lets Ashley use one of his spots. So now I have a spot, Ashley has a spot, and the neighbor has a spot. No one has any wives, though.

But parking in the back really made me feel better since my car got stolen last year. Now, for the first time since my car got stolen last year, I had to park on the street. And even though I now have theft prevention and LoJack, I really don't want to go through all that crap again. I really...really...really don't.

And I thought about having the car towed. It would've done the double-satisfaction of getting my car into the proper spot and inflicting punishment on their car. Besides, it would serve them right.

But, instead, I just left a note. I was hoping that it was just some relative who parked nearby. Or someone who made a mistake and would leave before the night was over. Nope...still there.

I accidentally parked in the wrong spot once and had two notes on my car. It was an honest mistake and I felt bad, and I'm hoping this is a similar situation and their car is gone by tomorrow.

And, at the same time, I hope my car is still there tomorrow. I realize it would be horrible luck to have two cars stolen on the last two nights I parked on this street. But horrible luck and I know each other pretty well.

This Is War

I really wish:

- The 30 Seconds to Mars album "This Is War" wasn't so self-important

or

- I didn't like it so much.

Speaking of Criminals

Because of Dany Heatley, Dan Snyder never saw his 26th birthday. Heatley sped his car and killed his friend in September of 2003. The guilty driver lived. His innocent passenger died.

The only hockey Heatley missed was because of injuries sustained in the accident. He returned to action five months later. He now makes $7.5 million a year to play professional ice hockey.

One less person is alive. People wear his jersey.

Human Monsters

I heard on the news Monday morning a tragic story. A woman was at Wal-Mart when a man called her over to his car (I assume asking for help or directions). The old woman (76 years old) came to his car, and the man grabbed her purse and drove off. The problem is that the purse was still on the old lady's arm. He dragged her 40 feet before she was released...only to be run over by his back tire. It immediately broke her pelvis, and she died at the hospital.

The story got more tragic this morning, when I found out that I knew the woman. Not personally, but she lives in my apartment complex. And she parks right next to me.

Actually, correction. Thanks to this asshole, she lived in my apartment complex. And parked next to me.

And even though the story was sad in the first place, it became real to me when I heard that. I'd seen this woman. Every time I saw her, she smiled at me. I smiled at her, partly because she was this tiny little woman that drove this huge SUV.

According to her daughter, she never carried money in her purse. At most, this scumbag got five dollars from the robbery. And her family gets to pay the price. Until his trial, that is. Because he's up for capital murder. And I hope this state murders him.

1. He's been convicted of a dozen crimes already. He's 28.
2. According to witnesses, he was laughing as he drove away and after she died.
3. He tried to look tough in his mug shot. Because it's really tough to steal from a 90-pound woman in her 70s.

There are times when I'm not in favor of the death penalty, but this is not one of those days. This person is contributing nothing to our society. Nothing to our species. No one, not even his family, will ever benefit from anything that he ever does. As far as I'm concerned, the universe would be better if he'd never existed. That might sound harsh, but this is his thirteenth crime in 28 years. He needs to go.

Prison is too good for people like this guy. He'll be in with thugs like him, making buddies and having fun. Because it's no longer a deterrent from some people like it is for me. I'm scared to go to jail so I don't committ crimes. He's not scared so he does. Five dollars is worth the risk.

Which is why I'd make my prison. Fence off part of New Mexico where no one wants to live. Drop everyone in all the prisons in the country into the area with no buildings and no tools. Let them fend for themselves however they can. Drop food every once in a while. And let them handle themselves. A lot will starve. A lot will die from the elements. And a lot will die from each others. I'd set up an area, about a mile before the fenceline, where no one is allowed to go. If you pass that point, the guards are not encouraged to use lethal force. They are required to do so. Any guard found out to be working with the inmates goes in himself.

No excuses. No exceptions. Rob someone. Go to New Mexico. Steal a car. Go to New Mexico. Kill someone. Go to New Mexico.

Cost to the taxpayer...way less than it is now. And I'm sure people would think twice before they do anything illegal.

People will say it's inhumane. And I'd argue that people like the man who killed this woman aren't human. And, thus, don't deserve to be treated as humans. They don't deserve to be treated like animals either...because animals are, for the most part, innocent.

They are monsters. And should be treated as such.

Thank You

To the person who gave me the mysterious (but awesome) monthly mail gift.

Thank you.

thefacebook

I watched the Social Network tonight for the first time, and it brought out a lot of emotions in me. Not just about the way Mark Zuckerberg's character (because I can't say how realistic the portrayal is) but about Facebook itself.

I remember joining Facebook back when it was thefacebook. I'm one of the select people who joined Facebook back when you had to have a specific college email address to get it done. I found thefacebook before I was allowed to join it, and I remember the day when it came to TCU.

I joined for the same reason Mark Zuckerberg thought I would join - for a girl. I remember the day I joined, after being a hold out for a long time. As soon as I was found, people gloated as another person joined the flock. It wasn't just a big deal for you to be on the web site...all of your friends had to be on there too.

When it became less exclusive, I felt it lost something. The movie discusses facebook's popularity as being based on being "cool." And I thought it was cool because it was exclusive. When high schools joined, it diluted. When everyone joined, it was no longer special.

For a long time, I didn't really care about it. I had a profile, but I never really added anything to it. From the beginning, I said that I would never put too much information on the site, and I still haven't to this day. But sometime in the last couple of years, I've really started paying more attention to it. One of the first apps I added to my iPhone (another thing I held out from for a long time and then became addicted) was the facebook app. And I check the site no less than ten times every day...without fail.

If you asked me why, I don't know. I have 339 friends on the site, but I haven't spoken with about 300 of them in the last five years. I probably need to prune the list, but I don't even think it's about having friends anymore. Its about being connected. You add someone as a friend and then never speak with them. Because at the end of the day, you probably don't care about them.

There's no question the site has changed our lives forever. If you're talking about the history of the internet, you might as well be talking about the history of the Internet. Mark Zuckerberg has impacted this world, whether he's a douchebag or not.

Which brings me to Mark himself. After the movie, Zuckerberg hit the airwaves trying to be likeable. And I don't really think it worked...Mark seems like the same jerk he was in the movie. But he does deserve a lot of the money he has because facebook might be the best idea in a long time.

But it made me think about the price he was willing to take to destroy his friendship with his best friend. He was seduced by money, power, women, and a slick "entrepreneur" named Sean Parker. And, in the end, he tried to cheat his best friend (and only original ally) out of money that was rightly his.

And I wonder what would happen if I was in the same situation. Would I take a billion dollars to destroy my best friendship? Five hundred million? One million? Would it be wrong to say that friendship is priceless? Would it be stupid?

I have ideas that I think could sell. It's easy to work with those closest to you. If I sold one of the ideas with my friend as an equal partner, would the friendship survive? Tucker told me that friendships don't survive business relationships. Not "rarely" or "don't always" survive. Never survive. 100%.

And it's basically because we're weak. When money enters the equation, priorities change. Because people are attracted to money, friends are never at a shortage when you're rich. And friendships fall apart all the time. Heck, one of the reasons why Facebook is so popular is that we lose track of people really quickly. How many people have one best friend for their entire life? How many people have less than five?

In the movie, Eduardo started out as Mark's best friend. Sean Parker quickly replaced Eduardo. Someone probably replaced Sean.

But what's funny is that Mark wasn't changed by money. He's an asshole at the beginning of the movie, and he's an asshole at the end. But he's certainly a smart guy, and he took advantage of a situation. And I'm sure his story isn't unique. I would bet that every major corporation has a similar story.

Which, in a lot of ways, is a bit depressing.