Sunday, October 9, 2011

Thirty Blog Challenge - Blog 6

Blog 6 - Something You Hope You Never Have To Do

Joke Answer - Get stabbed. Nick Swardson has a great stand-up routine about getting stabbed. It just sounds like it'd be horrible.

Obvious answer - Die. I know everyone dies. But it'd be nice if I were the exception to the rule. That last second before you die is supposedly peaceful to a lot of people, but it just seems like it'd be completely frightening.

A lot of people say they're completely convinced about their own religious beliefs, but no one is 100% confident. No one can know for sure. And while I'm convinced that there's some sort of God, I don't know if I was lucky enough to be born into a family that happens to believe in the real one. I have faith that I was that lucky, but I can't say for certain.

I hope, very much, that there's an afterlife, and I hope that whatever God exists is merciful to all those who chose poorly. But in that second, you just don't know.

And it would be like that one second before you flip on the switch in a dark room. That noise you heard might have been nothing, but it might have been the monster you're afraid of. After that second, you might be relieved. But in that second, you just don't know. And I just don't want to face that.

Real answer - watch someone I love suffer and die. Because everyone dies, everyone I love will die. And just like knowing that you will die, that's something equally as terrifying. But we can all hope that our loved ones die peacefully. On their own terms. In their own time.

To watch someone you love suffer is worse than suffering yourself. And just the thought of it fills me with so many emotions. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Regret. We all know that we're ticking time bombs, but we always try to put it out of mind. We know that, when we're talking to someone, it could be the last time we talk to them. But we just don't worry about it, particularly if you're not someone who's directly and recently familiar with death. Steve Jobs or Al Davis could die, but it won't make you hug your mom any tighter when you see her. Because we just assume the people we love will be there tomorrow.

And they might not be. But we all hope that they will. And when the day comes that they won't be, we all hope that we're given plenty of advanced warning. That they live to an age where we're able to let go with the minimum of sadness. And while there will always be that sadness, we hope that there's enough love and joy that it doesn't feel so bad.

But to have a sudden death. A painful death. A death full of suffering? In front of you? To see it all? That's something that I hope I don't have to experience.

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