2012: The Race to Suck Less

Negative political campaigns bother me.  Only slightly more than positive political campaigns, but that's another matter.  Negative campaigns are bad because they leave the voter feeling indifferent.

The following skit is not related to any politicians living or dead.  Any similarities are coincidental.

Politician A - "Don't vote for Politician B!  He's terrible with the economy!  Taxes were high, unemployment skyrocketed, and gasoline prices went way up!"

Voter - "Holy crap, I can't vote for Politician B!  I like a good economy, I hate paying taxes, I don't want to lose my job, and I hate paying more at the pump!  I'm going to vote for Politician A!"

Politician B - "Don't vote for Politician A!  He has a terrible track record in foreign policy!  If he's elected, foreign governments will invade your homes, and terrorists will successfully blow you up!"

Voter - "Blow me up?  I can't vote for Politician A!  I guess safety is more important than money.  I'll vote for Politician B, I guess."

Politician A - "But you can't vote for Politician B!  He voted against health care reform.  If he's elected and you have to go to the hospital, you'll either pay a billion dollars or die!"

Voter - "I don't have a billion dollars.  So I'll die either way?  I guess I'll vote for..."

Politician B - "But your children will die if Politician A is elected!  He's voted to cut funding to schools, and he wants your children to become homeless urchins, wandering the streets doing drugs in gangs!"

Voter - "A gang of urchins?  This is ridiculous.  Neither one of you is qualified, apparently.  I'm just not going to vote.  Screw everything."

And...scene.

If both campaigns are strictly negative, you don't ever get confidence in any candidate.  And that's what we have so far.  I know I can't vote for Romney because he's a Mormon flip-flopper who wants to help the rich.  And I can't vote for Obama because he doesn't do anything but play golf and he wants to bankrupt the country with billions of handouts.

Would you rather drown or die in a fire?

I understand the need to point out an opposing candidates flaws.  If a candidate is a convicted rapist, I want to know about it.  If he's voted to hand the country over to anarchists, I want to know about it.  If he was in the KKK for the entire 90s, I want to know about it.  These things are important, and they will help me make my decision.

But every once in a while, don't you want to mix in something good about yourself?

So far, I've heard a lot of bad things about both candidates.  Republicans can't stop talking about how Obama isn't doing anything.  Also, that he's doing really bad things.  And Democrats can't stop talking about how Romney is a psychopath who will end up destroying the middle class.  This stuff is coming from random people on facebook/twitter but also from the campaigns themselves.

When I see something political, it's almost always something negative about the other party.  Never anything positive about their own guy.

And it's because neither party really likes their guy.  Republicans hate Obama, and they're willing to vote for  just about anyone.  They're not excited about Romney, but he's the best they have right now.  A lot like Kerry in 2004.  Democrats are disenchanted by Obama, but they all seem to be in "trust the devil you know, not the devil you don't know" mode.

Ummm...why do I want to vote for a devil at all?

Now, I'm one of the few people that doesn't really think the man sitting in the White House will affect my daily life.  Life under Obama isn't that different from life under Bush.  Or Clinton.  Because, at the end of the day, the president doesn't do much.  And can't do much.  Our government is so focused on hating the other side that we don't get anything done.  So we could elect a beagle to the White House, and not much would change.

I also know that neither candidate is 100% evil.  Obama hasn't fulfilled his promise of hope and change, but what were we expecting?  In his first term, the country didn't fall apart - and that's all I really ask of the president these days.  He tried something with the health care reform, and he passed through some legislation.  He had some messes that he inherited, and I think he's done okay.  He's an average president, and that's okay.

But you never hear about his successes from the Democrats.  Almost everything they say is about Romney.

Romney isn't crazy.  He's been successful in the private sector, and there's no reason to think that he can't translate that success to the government.  And there are certainly areas that he's strong in.

But you don't hear about them from the Republicans.  All they talk about is Obama.

If your guy is the right guy, tell me about him.  Tell me about what Obama has done and what he hopes to do in a second term.  Tell me about what Romney would do differently, and how his past experiences would help in the future.  That's what I want to hear.

Because when all I hear is negative, I walk into the booth trying to decide between the lesser of two evils.  If I only hear positive, I pick my favorite, and I feel pretty good either way.

Ashley and I were talking, and we decided that there needs to be a "positive debate" in every election.  In this debate, each candidate is only allowed to speak about themselves.  They are not allowed to speak about their opponent.  The moderator will give each candidate a topic, and the candidate is allowed to speak as long as they would like.

"In what ways are you a good candidate in regards to (issue)?"

They can talk about whatever they like.  Prior experience.  Relevant education.  Friends or colleagues that would be helpful.  Whatever.  And as they talk, fact checkers would figure out if any facts are true.  If you say that unemployment fell 20% and it fell 18%, you're fine.

But if it rose 10%, you get a strike.  If you get three strikes in the debate, you're done.  And the other person gets to keep going.  Lie three times in the first question, and the other guy gets to talk as long as he wants for the rest of the evening.  As long as he tells the truth.

If you don't have anything to say, you don't have to say anything.  If you're lacking foreign policy experience, talk about what you'd do.  Who you would trust.  Who you would talk with.  Be honest.  And make up for it in other areas.  If you're a whiz with the economy, talk all you want about how great you'd be.  If you can talk for 20 minutes about how great you'd be with the economy, I'll listen to the whole thing.

But I bet the debates will be much like the early parts of the campaigns.

"How are you with the economy?"

"I'll tell you who's not good with the economy.  My opponent.  He..."

And that's not what I want to hear.  Stop talking about the other guy.  If he's an idiot, we'll find out.  If he's unqualified, we'll find out.  Let the (legitimate) media track down the skeletons in the other guy's closet.  You should focus on your own campaign.

Because last time, I voted for Obama, but I knew that McCain would've done just as well.  This time, I have a feeling that I'm going to be depressed on election day no matter what.  Because after ten months of mudslinging, I'm fairly certain that I'll be dead or dying months after either of these guys is elected.