Thirty Blog Challenge - Blog 4

Blog 4 - Something You Have To Forgive Someone Else For

I always wonder if I should forgive my Dad for killing himself. After all, he did apologize in a suicide note. He said it was too hard to live the way he was, that he'd made too many mistakes, and how he didn't want to continue. I can understand that. Life sometimes gets too hard to handle, and if there's an easy way out, some people can take it.

And I guess I can forgive that. If he'd stayed alive, he would've continued to be a financial burden, and he would've continued to make life a living Hell for my sainted mother. For that, I'm glad he's gone.

But I don't really think I can forgive him for what he did to my mother. According to her best friend, my mom used to be a lot more fun and adventurous, and staying up worrying about my dad all the time changed all of that. Now she's a bit more of a homebody, and she really hasn't re-established herself in the world. Her life now revolves around my sister and me. She hasn't re-married, and I don't think her life has ended up the way she wanted.

She was such a cute and fun person, and my dad took the best years of her life. He lied to her, abused her mentally, and took all of her money. And while he gave her two kids (and she says it's worth it), I don't really want to forgive him for doing that to her.

So, I guess, I can forgive what he's done to me and my life. Like I said in blog two, my life is a lot better than most. But as far as what he did to my mom, I can't forgive him. And won't. Because while I can imagine that I deserve bad things, I know for certain that she doesn't.