Mauled by Tiger (Coverage)

In the last few days, it's been hard for me to watch, read, or listen to anything about sports. Why? Because it seems, wherever I turn, that everyone is focused on Tiger Woods. After sleeping with half the women on the planet, Tiger decided to finally apologize to the world. And like lemmings, everyone and their dog cared and tuned in to his speech.

For this "apology", Tiger simply read from a prepared statement. He didn't take any questions, and the only reporters that were allowed into the room were "invited."

I couldn't have cared less. The guy just wanted some positive publicity, but he wanted it on his terms. He didn't want to face the hard questions so he didn't allow any questions. But while I didn't care, everyone else on the Earth apparently did. All the networks showed the apology live, and then everyone spent their days talking about it.

What I haven't heard, however, is why anyone else cares. Sure, Tiger's a big athlete, but I've heard so many hyperboles about this story that it's sick. People were saying that the story was the biggest one of the decade (usually in the context of "sports stories" but some say it overshadowed everything...including, apparently, 9/11). People were saying that not only is Tiger Woods the most famous athlete in the world, but he's the most famous person in the world.

Now I realize that Tiger is one of the most dominant athletes in sports history and that people love him. But I guess I never realized that golf was popular enough (especially worldwide) that the most popular golfer can also be the most popular human.

Because when you hear people talk about the big sports, you usually hear about baseball, basketball, and football (not in that order, of course). Then there are the lesser sports of hockey and NASCAR. Golf is almost never in the discussion, from what I've heard.

I know it's big because there's plenty of money to be made. Both of the top two money earners in 2008 were golfers - Tiger and Phil Mickelson. But both made most of their money in advertising - another indication of the sport's popularity. However, I can't really remember an ad featuring Mickelson...so I'm wondering if they're print ads in magazines that I don't read, or if all the ads are golf-related (so they're shown during stuff I don't watch).

Maybe it's just that I don't care about golf. I've watched some of it, but it's always struck me as boring. I might like it if I played (that's how it was with tennis), but I don't really have any interest. I guess it's because I think I consider golf the sport of old men - and I don't want to look or feel like that.

So is Tiger really this popular? I mean, I guess he has to be. There wouldn't be this much coverage if everyone felt the way I do, and I trust that most of these outlets know what they're doing.

It just feels stupid because I doubt Tiger is really sorry for what he did. He's a spoiled little kid who never grew up because the spotlight was on. He's always gotten his way, and people have always loved him. And when he finally got in trouble for something he did, he went and hid somewhere until things died down. And now that he wants to go back to making money, he apologizes in this robotic way, using his power and influence to do it his way.

And in that case, why even apologize? Why bother doing anything? Why not just laugh and demand that everyone love him again? Why not show up to tournaments with a couple hookers on his arms, and say "hey, I'm high on all kinds of stuff, just banged these chicks, and now I'm gonna win this tournament."

Because he doesn't care. He doesn't want our forgiveness. He just wants our attention and our money.

And thankfully, he's not getting any of mine.