Awe. Some

The other night, Keely called and told me that she was invited to Michael Young's suite for a Ranger game. She said that she couldn't go so she talked to Cristina, Michael Young's wife, and she said to send Tucker with a couple of friends...and then Keely could show up whenever. And Keely offered the extra tickets to me and Ashley...and we were really excited.

A couple minutes later, Keely called again. She said she was really embarrassed and even more sorry, but that she'd misread the email and that Cristina was only offering one more ticket. Only one of us would get to go.

Keely sounded really upset about it, but we tried to convince her that one ticket to Michael Young's suite was way...way...way better than no tickets. Two tickets would've been cool, but we'll take one any day of the week. So I offered to flip a coin with Ashley, but he actually said I could go. After telling him that I wasn't about to argue with him, he nodded and I was in.

One problem...the game was also the same night of my first day of school. I'm taking Biology as a night class, and I didn't want to miss the first night of school. I offered Ashley the ticket, but he said he was already going with some friends. Tucker didn't have anyone else to invite (or maybe just wanted to go with me) so he said he'd wait for me.

I assumed that the first day of school would be going over the syllabus and that's it. After all, that's what happened last semester in chemistry. But an hour into reading the syllabus, it wasn't looking good. I was already gonna be late to the game, and I was going to have to drive straight there because I'd sent Tucker already.

And then the professor told us to open our books. The bastard was going to start his lecture. So, around the time the game was going to start, I started taking notes on biology. It was all elementary stuff, but I was sitting in the front row (I don't know why) and couldn't just walk out.

So 7:45 rolls around, and I dart out of there. It's already the bottom of the third, and I race to the stadium. I finally get there around the top of the fifth, and I realize that, if you come to the game that late, parking is free. Good to know, I guess. So I park and run (in 100+ degree heat) to the stadium.

I call Tucker. No answer. I text him. Nothing. I call again. Nothing. So I'm standing outside the stadium in the fifth inning, and I'm wondering what's going on. Is Tucker involved in some awesome conversation? Is he ignoring me? Punishing me for coming late? Where is he?

He finally calls me, and he says that he's gotten none of my calls or texts. He later told me that, as soon as he hung up, they all popped up. Well, he came and got me, and we went up to the suite.

And there I was...in Michael Young's suite. Michael Young, for the record, has been my favorite Ranger for a really long time. He was always such a consistent hitter and great defensive player, and those are traits that I've always admired because it's the way I played. So even when he was a second baseman that no one had heard of, I really liked him. Then the whole moving to shortstop thing was really cool...and signing long term...and then moving over to third...he's just a class act.

The first guy I meet is Michael's dad. I tell him that his son is my favorite player. "Mine too," the dad said with a smile. I'm sure he gets that a lot, but I wanted him to know anyway. It was a suite so food was provided. I grabbed a hot dog and a sliders, and I watched a little of the game. I missed about half the game, but it was still a lot of fun. Rich Harden had a no hitter through 6 and 2/3 innings, and he actually left the game with the no hitter. That was pretty cool.

And I got to meet Cristina, who was really sweet and kind. And Tucker got to talk to her for a few minutes so maybe she can arrange some kind of playdate between Michael and Tucker. Which would, of course, evolve into Michael Young becoming our fourth for Halo. I mean, it'd have to...right?

All in all, it was just awesome. The low point in the night was when Jon Daniels ignored me. I saw him sitting by himself in the next suite, and I called to him a couple of times. He didn't say anything or turn around at all...so either he heard me and was ignoring me or he was too focused to hear me. I'd prefer to think the latter, but it's probably the former. No big deal...I was just gonna thank him for doing such a great job.

So thanks to Cristina Barbosa and the Douglases for a great night. It's definitely something I won't forget for a while.

Spooky

So I just made a connection and realized that my car getting stolen fits in with the recurring theme that's resonating through 2010. That is really, really strange. And not necessarily a good sign.

Unless the sign is a warning and not an indication.

Dear Altima

Dear Altima,

I know we had a bit of a dysfunctional relationship for the two and a half years that I owned you. The circumstances surrounding your purchase led to some mixed feelings and emotions on my part, and even though that was outside your control, I still held it against you. But, at the end of the day, you were a really good car.

And last night, I really missed you for the first time. My rental Kia is fine, and it can get me from point A to point B. But outside of that, the Kia is nothing compared to you. Your leather seats are better than its cloth. Your XM radio is better than its regular (crappy) radio. Your backup camera and navigation are better than its nothing.

And because of you, I've raised my standards for what I expect out of my next car. I'm going to try and get one close to what you were. I realize that I'll be setting myself up for the same tragic end to our relationship, but it's a risk I'm willing to take because I know what I want now. I want you, but that seems to be impossible. So I'll just try to find the closest thing to you.

If it wouldn't be too much trouble, can you come back? I've changed. I will buy you the most expensive, beautiful alarm system that money can buy. I promise to never take you for granted again, and I will love you as much as I did when we first met.

If not, can you at least blow yourself up, killing those responsible for your theft?


Love,
Drew

iPhone

Today...on August 16, 2010...I got an iPhone. I caved in after years of fighting it, mostly because my phone only survived for about five minutes on it's current battery. And rather than spend more money on a new battery or get AT&T's free phone again, I decided to just go ahead and get one.

The only reason I decided not to get the iPhone was because I didn't want to be like everyone else. To me, there's something about not following the trend of the day. To watch everyone run off and do something and not do it for that very reason. But I think I made that fight. I held out for about as long as I could. It made sense to get the phone, and I did it.

Quick review - it's pretty cool. It's a little heavier than I'm used to, and it's actually harder to type than on my previous phone (which had the full keyboard). But it's fun to have the facebook ap, to have youtube whenever I want it, and to have all the cool games.

I guess, for today, I can be okay with being like everyone else.

Some Good Thoughts

1. Tucker, Ashley, and I are going to DC this weekend. Tucker and Ashley leave tomorrow, but I won't leave until Friday night because I couldn't get off work. It will suck to lose a couple days with the guys, but it will still be a really cool trip. Looking forward to it.

2. My Chem II class was cancelled because, apparently, there was only one other person in the class with me. After thinking about it long and hard, I decided to just take the $100+ refund and just take Biology this semester. I'll take Chem II and Biology II in the spring when I have less car issues and football distractions to worry about. The fact that I spent $200 on required textbooks (and I actually got them at a pretty good discount) probably didn't hurt.

3. There's the new one and the old one. Not sure how I feel about either.

4. I don't think my car situation is as bad as I thought it would be. It still sucks, but I think I'm going to come out of it positively. I think I've decided to take this as a bit of a rebirth. We'll see how long that optimism lasts.

5. First place Texas Rangers. Cowboys in Super Bowl discussions. TCU getting ready to start their season with high hopes. Sports = good right now.

So Angry

I am pissed off. I am sad. I am angry. I am disappointed. I am confused. I am furious. I am depressed.

I bought my car on New Year's Day 2008. It had been about two months since I'd found my new job, and I was excited. I needed a navigation system because I tend to get lost. Because of that, I apparently got a little bit of everything. XM Radio. Leather seats. Rear-view camera.

I was proud of it. It was the only big purchase of my life, and it was something that I'd earned with years of hard work.

Thursday night, it was stolen. All that work is gone. All my pride is gone. And I'm going to have to pay for it.

So far, 26 has been awesome.

Please Explain

My car was stolen this morning. Can someone please explain to me why I should have any faith in humanity at all?

Going Back

In thinking about things, I decided to write this amendment to yesterday's blog. I've thought a lot about the past in my life, and I even brought up the movie "The Butterfly Effect" in my ramblings last night. I think it would be a fascinating ability....to pick and choose moments in your life and work to re-write them.

But you almost forget that the movie is a bit of a horror film. The protagonist decides to go back and fix the past, but he ends up screwing it up even worse each time.

So if you had the ability to go back in time, would you do it? Considering that, whether you stay back in the past or jump to the present, your life is going to be drastically different. You might go back and recapture love with the girl that got away, but what about the people in your life now that you never would've met if you'd ended up with her?

Let's take a moment and talk about a significant moment in my life - my dad's death. If I went back and prevented that, I would save myself a lot of pain and anguish. But that happened 16 years ago in 1994. I wasn't even 10 years old yet. Independence Day hadn't even been released yet.

I've told my friends that, if he hadn't died, I would've been a much different person. I was the popular kid the year before he died - I had a lot of confidence and friends. His death changed all of that and molded me into the person that I am today. But what if I'd stayed on the path? Would I have become the stereotypical HP kid? Would I have been the frat guy? Where would I be working? Who would I be friends with? What would I be doing at this very moment?

Let's do something more simple and less drastic. When I was a kid, I was given the choice between playing chamber baseball and getting a Sega Genesis. I'm a pretty good athlete that has never been molded into a great athlete. If I'd chosen chamber baseball, there's a chance I could've been really good at high school baseball. Maybe even college baseball.

If that happens, I never work at journalism, which was a direct result of my giving up on baseball. And even if I go to TCU, I never work at the Skiff. And since I met Ashley at the Skiff, I probably never meet him. Since I met Tucker through Ashley, I never meet him or Keely. I never meet Tim or Woody, who I also met as a result of meeting Ashley or working at the Skiff.

There go most of my current friends. Because I chose the Sega Genesis, I met all the friends I know now. Something like that changes everything for a person. Tucker and Ashley might have met, but how would their lives be different without me?

Let's give myself a little more control over the situation. Let's say that I can go back and remember everything that happened. I can go to TCU and meet Ashley, Tim, Woody, and all my TCU friends. I'd still have to wait at least eight years to do so. And when I meet him, I'd still have to pretend to never have met him. And it's not like I can tell him that I traveled through time from a place where we were roommates. And then it's another five or so years before I meet Tucker, who's in Austin or Abilene the whole time.

Not only that, think about pop culture. Think about all the music, movies, and TV shows that didn't exist in 1994. One of my favorite movies, The Dark Knight, wouldn't be released for another 14 years. In fact, I'd have to sit through Batman Forever and Batman and Robin before we even got to the Christopher Nolan movies.

And I'd have to wait 11 years before anyone even heard of LOST. That, in itself, might drive me crazy.

So, yeah, it'd be nice to go back and give yourself another chance at certain things. But would it be worth your entire current life? Your friends, your hobbies, and your favorite things? It's a question none of us are ever going to face, but I think it's something interesting to think about.

Regret

I think I have two major personality weaknesses that are holding me down, and I think they're tied together.

1. Lack of foresight. I have an amazing ability to ignore potentially huge moments in my life, and a criminal misunderstanding of the significance of certain moments.

2. In spite of #1 (or maybe because of it), I have an unnatural obsession with those moments after I comprehend how massive they were.

I've been thinking a lot about a moment in my life that didn't seem that big at the time. It was just a normal night, and nothing special happened. And, of course, that's the problem and that's the point. Maybe something was supposed to happen, and now I sit and torture myself with questions of "what if?"

And I start to ask myself questions. If this singular moment was so important, why didn't I realize it at the time? And then I ask myself another question: did I know it was important and choose to do nothing about it?

As most of you probably know, my memory is pretty screwed up. I don't remember certain things, and I have a problem holding on to certain memories. But this memory I'm talking about is in pristine condition. I can remember exactly where I was, and I can remember a significant chunk of it. I remember more of it than I remember tons of other things, and it makes me wonder if I recorded that moment for a reason. If my "memory gatekeeper" somehow knew to log this memory in the data banks for future use.

And that's when I think that maybe I understood completely what I was doing. But then again, I don't really think I'm that much of a self-defeating person. Or am I?

Either way, whether I understood the significance or not, I should be learning from these mistakes. For as much as I beat myself up about things that I do or don't do...for as much as I beg a higher power to place me back into those moments to give myself a chance to make things right...for as much as I've dreamed for a time machine or some kind of "Butterfly Effect"-like power to go back and alter a moment in history...you'd think that I'd be doing a better job of looking out for the next bit moment in my life.

But I find myself, relatively consistently, ignoring the moment as it's happening. And maybe it comes down to the fact that I just don't see things clearly when they're happening. That emotion (call it fear, anxiety, or whatever you like) gets in the way of realizing what's going on.

I don't take a lot of risks because I fear the consequences of failure. And, I believe, until I start discovering the significance of the moment, I'm going to continue to "fly" in the moment and "fight" with myself later.

I need to learn from my mistakes. To do my best to gain from the past instead of just mourning it. Otherwise, the yesterday's mistakes are going to be the same ones I'm going to repeat tomorrow. And considering that they're ruining today, I just can't afford to let that happen.

Happy Birthday to Me

Friday night was my birthday party (yes, I'm now 26), and it was pretty fun. Lane usually tries to throw something together because she's really outgoing. She decided that it would be fun to go to Top Golf and then head to Uptown for more drinks. That sounded good to me, and it was settled.

So Friday afternoon, my coworkers got some red velvet cupcakes that were delicious. It was a nice gesture that made me feel a little loved at work (and that almost never happens). After that, I headed home to meet up with the fellas (Tucker, Ashley, and a visiting Woody). Since dinner wasn't on Lane's agenda, the guys asked me what I wanted...and I chose a steak cooked by Ashley (one of the greatest things ever, by the way). It was nice of Tucker to oblige on this because he had literally just finished three weeks of being vegan. And steak is pretty close to being as anti-vegan as possible.

Anyway, the guys cooked steak, quail, and corn...and it was awesome. Woody tried to make new potatoes, but Ashley's stove just wasn't strong enough to do so. More on that later.

So after that, we headed to Top Golf. Ashley brought his clubs, being the only one who'd actually ever been there. We sat inside for a minute before my sister and her friend Bonner showed up. We got a table outside and were eventually joined by a few others (Keely, Claunch, Carrie, Tyler, and eventually Beau). We sat outside talking, and it was really nice and relaxing. They bought me drinks, and I got pretty drunk. Here's the tally:

1 Lay Me on the Green (like a hurricane)

1 Vodka and Diet Coke

1 Jager Bomb

1 fruity shot suggested by the cute waitress

1 can of shiner

1 firefly sweet tea

2 Jack and Cokes

1 Coors Light

I don't think there was any more in there, but it was a lot for me. Particularly with no water or food in between. Not as crazy as the previous two years, but that's probably as much alcohol as I usually have in a couple of months.

Anyway, we had such a good time outside that we decided to just skip the golf part. We were basically just enjoying some relatively good weather outside, talking with each other. It's always a bit odd when I do this kind of thing because there's just such a wide variety of people - people from work, from college, from later in life, and Lane's friends. But most of my friends (and all of the ones at the party) are pretty chill and get along with everyone.

After that, we headed to Uptown and had a couple of drinks. I was pretty drunk by this point (and getting old because I thought the music in there was disturbingly loud). The crowd whittled down pretty good, and we left about an hour later. I went to bed, and that was it.

Except that it wasn't. I was glad that we went out on Friday because Saturday (my actual birthday) was gone for me. I typically get pretty bad hangovers, and this one was about as bad as I've ever had. My usual hangover symptom is simply nausea...and that's exactly what attacked me on this day.

(Caution - nausea stuff is about to be discussed. You've been warned).

So I knew I was going to have a hangover...particularly when I still felt kinda drunk when I went to the bathroom in the morning. I had dry mouth so I tried to drink some water, but that was a pretty big mistake. As I was trying to get some more sleep (seven hours seemed to be my cap that night), I had to fight through going back and forth to the toilet. Two sips of water was sending my stomach through Hell - not a good sign.

Tired of sitting in bed feeling gross, I took a shower and went into the living room. I grabbed a Vitamin Water - thinking it'd be the best combination of water, vitamins, and flavor. My body vehemently disagreed with me.

I drank about a gulp and a half of the Vitamin Water over the course of about six hours, and I didn't keep any of it down. And I was epically vomiting too - too the point where absolutely nothing was left to throw up. I was miserable, and it really questioned why people drink. Why would you sacrifice an entire day in honor of a couple hours of fun? I guess people spend the day hungover and then go out as soon as it wears off...but that just doesn't sound fun at all.

By about 4pm, the worst was over. I still felt gross the rest of the night (and even some parts of today), and I consumed a shockingly low amount of food that day (about a half bottle of ginger ale and some of the potatoes from the night before). But luckily I felt better today...and was able to use today as a buffer day.

It sucks that I lost an entire day of my weekend because of one night of fun (especially since that lost day was my actual birthday), but I think it was probably worth it.

Thanks to all my friends who showed up for me. You guys rock.