Going Back

In thinking about things, I decided to write this amendment to yesterday's blog. I've thought a lot about the past in my life, and I even brought up the movie "The Butterfly Effect" in my ramblings last night. I think it would be a fascinating ability....to pick and choose moments in your life and work to re-write them.

But you almost forget that the movie is a bit of a horror film. The protagonist decides to go back and fix the past, but he ends up screwing it up even worse each time.

So if you had the ability to go back in time, would you do it? Considering that, whether you stay back in the past or jump to the present, your life is going to be drastically different. You might go back and recapture love with the girl that got away, but what about the people in your life now that you never would've met if you'd ended up with her?

Let's take a moment and talk about a significant moment in my life - my dad's death. If I went back and prevented that, I would save myself a lot of pain and anguish. But that happened 16 years ago in 1994. I wasn't even 10 years old yet. Independence Day hadn't even been released yet.

I've told my friends that, if he hadn't died, I would've been a much different person. I was the popular kid the year before he died - I had a lot of confidence and friends. His death changed all of that and molded me into the person that I am today. But what if I'd stayed on the path? Would I have become the stereotypical HP kid? Would I have been the frat guy? Where would I be working? Who would I be friends with? What would I be doing at this very moment?

Let's do something more simple and less drastic. When I was a kid, I was given the choice between playing chamber baseball and getting a Sega Genesis. I'm a pretty good athlete that has never been molded into a great athlete. If I'd chosen chamber baseball, there's a chance I could've been really good at high school baseball. Maybe even college baseball.

If that happens, I never work at journalism, which was a direct result of my giving up on baseball. And even if I go to TCU, I never work at the Skiff. And since I met Ashley at the Skiff, I probably never meet him. Since I met Tucker through Ashley, I never meet him or Keely. I never meet Tim or Woody, who I also met as a result of meeting Ashley or working at the Skiff.

There go most of my current friends. Because I chose the Sega Genesis, I met all the friends I know now. Something like that changes everything for a person. Tucker and Ashley might have met, but how would their lives be different without me?

Let's give myself a little more control over the situation. Let's say that I can go back and remember everything that happened. I can go to TCU and meet Ashley, Tim, Woody, and all my TCU friends. I'd still have to wait at least eight years to do so. And when I meet him, I'd still have to pretend to never have met him. And it's not like I can tell him that I traveled through time from a place where we were roommates. And then it's another five or so years before I meet Tucker, who's in Austin or Abilene the whole time.

Not only that, think about pop culture. Think about all the music, movies, and TV shows that didn't exist in 1994. One of my favorite movies, The Dark Knight, wouldn't be released for another 14 years. In fact, I'd have to sit through Batman Forever and Batman and Robin before we even got to the Christopher Nolan movies.

And I'd have to wait 11 years before anyone even heard of LOST. That, in itself, might drive me crazy.

So, yeah, it'd be nice to go back and give yourself another chance at certain things. But would it be worth your entire current life? Your friends, your hobbies, and your favorite things? It's a question none of us are ever going to face, but I think it's something interesting to think about.