You Get Hoynes

I've been watching a lot of West Wing on Bravo in the mornings, and tomorrow morning, they will be showing one of my favorite episodes - "Two Cathedrals". It's one of my favorites because of a scene at the very end. I might post the video tomorrow or tonight - it's definitely worth watching because it's extremely powerful. And here it is, in text form.

That's as good, right?

The below scene is President Bartlet inside a large cathedral after the funeral of an old friend in a tragic accident. He's speaking to God, full of anger and emotion. He's just let the nation in on a big secret that he's been lying about, and he's trying to decide if he's going to run again (or let Vice President John Hoynes run in his place). That's about all the context you'll need.

You're a son of a bitch, you know that? She bought her first new car and you hit her with a drunk driver. What? Was that supposed to be funny?

"You can't conceive, nor can I, the appalling strangeness of the mercy of God," says Graham Greene. I don't know whose ass he was kissing there, 'cause I think you're just vindictive.

What was Josh Lyman - a warning shot? That was my son. What did I ever do to yours but praise his glory and praise his name?

There's a tropical storm that's gaining speed and power. They say we haven't had a storm this bad since you took out that tender ship of mine in the North Atlantic last year. Sixty-eight crew. You know what a tender ship does? Fixes the other ships. It doesn't even carry guns. It just goes around, fixes the other ships and delivers the mail. That's all it can do.

Gratias tibi ago, domine. Yes, I lied. It was a sin. I've committed many sins. Have I displeased you, you feckless thug? 3.8 million new jobs, that wasn't good? Bailed out Mexico. Increased foreign trade. Thirty million new acres of land for conservation. Put Mendoza on the bench. We're not fighting a war. I've raised three children. That's not enough to buy me out of the doghouse?

Haec credam a deo pio, a deo iusto, a deo scito? Cruciatus in crucem. Trus in terra servus, nuntius fui, officium perfeci. Cruciatus in crucem. Eas in crucem.

[deliberately lights a cigarette and grinds it out on the Cathedral floor] You get Hoynes.